Thursday, March 22, 2012

3 Principles of Marriage

I've been meaning to write this post for a long time but never really had the time to do it. 
It's about a lecture I went to this semester in my adult aging class
 (who would have known this class would have been so amazing? not me that's for sure!)
My professor is a Marriage and Family Therapist and gave the lecture on what else?...


I've wanted to write this because I think there are too many blog posts and facebook statuses about how wonderful everyone's husband is
(which I am guilty of)
and not enough on the truth of what marriage really is like.
Don't get me wrong I love being married and Clark is down right the man of my dreams as well as my best friend, 
But I just want to be honest here.
We fight and we have problems.
I know there are couples out there who don't and that is wonderful
but in reality I think a lot do.
That's just what happens when you put two completely different people into one new life.

As a result of husbands being portrayed as knights in shining armor 24/7
girls sit there and think...
their husband doesn't love them as much as other husbands love their wives
their husband isn't as good as other men out there.
Which leads to one of the largest problems today
Which has become EXTREMELY prevalent in the world as well as in the Mormon culture
and especially here at BYU.

I am probably one of the largest advocates of preventing divorce as my parents are divorced and I have seen many ugly and painful things as a result of it.


The three most effect ways to maintain a strong marriage
1. Commitment
Commitment is THE most important principle in marriage. Which when you think about it, makes a lot of sense. 
What does this mean? 
It means you and/or your spouse are doing the things you have said you are going to do. It means being able to rely upon each other and trust in your relationship with each other.
How do you develop this?
Set goals for yourself and make sure to hold yourself accountable for them.
Be straight forward, honest and a person of integrity. 
Make the person who you are on the inside match with the person you are on the outside. 
Do what you say you are going to do because you want to do it. 
When commitment is the most important principle in your life it leaves divorces as nothing, absolutely not an option.

2. Forgiveness
Because marriage is hard at times and we all make mistakes we HAVE to be forgiving of each other.
This forgiveness can actually be a gift for our spouse as well as for us in that we don't need to be using the negative energy of holding grudges and can put that energy to better use. 
It allows for ourselves and our spouse to:
Get back on track 
(because every single marriage gets off track every now and then)
A fresh start
It gives you the ability to change and to move forward

3. Work
Every marriage takes work to be successful, just like any good, fulfilling thing in life. 
Do something to try and improve your marriage every single day.
The joy of marriage really is the journey of it and of working hard at it. 
Don't let your marriage turn into just being the word.
A lot of people can say they are married (because they don't want a divorce) yet live two completely separate lives. 
Be stubborn for the good things in  your life. Make it work because you feel strong about it and don't settle for less. 

I 100% think if we all (and by all I mean husbands and wives) tried harder at these people would be happier in their lives and marriages.

One of the most genuine and sincere examples of what apologies should be like from the movie Fireproof

Monday, March 19, 2012

Giveaway y'all

This is not my giveaway, this is me doing item numero tres. (sharing it on my blog) 
View this Giveaway
Lindsey Orton has beautiful photography, like I already said on my fb.
If I don't win this I would love if someone I knew did.
(although I really want to)
But everyone enter and let's hope one of us wins!
I hope all is well.
I've been super booked with school but I'll post something soon!

Thursday, March 1, 2012

I would just love this.

Cute Lululemon biking {{pants}} I would love to add with the bike :)
I really want a bike for a few reasons:
  • It would be so wonderful to run to the store during the day to get groceries. I find sooo many things that sound sooo deliciously good to make but never have the right food to make it with. 
  • It would be so wonderful to get up to campus in 10 min. Although I have definitely improved in my speed walking... a walk that comfortably gets me to campus in 25 minutes I have done in 13. (Which I would not recommend when you are late for class and then come in completely out of breath plus sweating... not fun)
  • I think I would start enjoying exercising alone. I have to admit I hate working out alone. Legitimately, hate it, but riding a bike alone sounds pretty fun to me. 
  • I could get to my bank and renew my debit card, update my current info, change my name (they don't know I'm Mrs. Brimhall yet.... whoa that still sounds werid). When was the last time you paid with a check at the store? It is really quite annoying to be honest and unfortunately my bank isn't exactly walking distance away. 
Ok so those are just a few reasons why I really want a bike but then today on {{Lululemon's blog}} they had a post about 5 reasons why you should ride a bike.
1. it’s a beautiful day in the neighbourhood (this is a Canadian Blog, hence the spelling)
2. get your bike to do the heavy lifting
3. it’s good for the environment
4. it’s good for your wallet
5. log a little extra sweat for the day
(check out the post it expounds upon them a little more)
Uh ya. I'm all about that!

So I think I've decided to make a little splurge and buy a bike. 
Anyone know of some good places to buy one?
 (and a fairly inexpensive one at that... I don't care about the brands, definitely not that intense.)
Clark was telling me I should just get one at Walmart?

k well when I do get a bike i'll be sure to update on here with my adventures!